No, really, this time I'm back. For a while at least. That's because I recently finished a book geared towards anyone who complains. So, you know, everyone. Including me. My plan is to post each chapter (or segments of chapters to keep each entry from droning on and on) and see if we can generate a little buzz. Obviously, my hope is that anyone reading these entries will be encouraged to adjust how we respond to the various issues of life that cause us to complain. If it helps, then great!
This first entry is the INTRODUCTION. Hopefully it will cause interest in future entries. Enjoy!
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Let me ask you a question. Do you ever complain? I know. That’s a
ridiculous question. Everyone complains. Some more than others. But the truth
is, all of us complain from time to time. In fact, some have turned it into a
full-on art form of perfection. But, yes, complaining happens. You complain and
I complain. In fact, you are probably on the verge of complaining right now
simply because I posed this question…
My list of complaints
includes things like eight check-out lines at the store but only one or two
checkers. Worse yet, the self-checkout area.
It’s like they’re setting me up to be arrested if I don’t scan things the
right way!
I also don’t like having to give reviews for everything I
purchase in life. I once checked into a hotel and when I got to my room there
was a ding on my phone. It was an email from the hotel asking me to rate my
check-in service. Really? I just checked in! I haven’t even unpacked my
suitcase! I can see you from my window, across the courtyard, through the front
office window. Can I just give you a thumbs up and we’ll be good to go? I’ll
submit a full report upon my departure.
Recently I was given a new coffee maker by my mother-in-law.
She heard me complaining that my coffee maker never brewed the coffee hot
enough for my taste. I had to zap it in the microwave to heat it up which
annoyed me. So, she bought me one that guaranteed a hot temperature once
brewed. It works. I love it.
Unfortunately, through
my life, I’ve often found things to complain about. Traffic. Too many commercials.
Slow internet. Power outages. Stressed relationships. Missing socks. Squeaky
doors. Clogged toilets. Lukewarm showers. Broken zippers. Rain. Really? Rain?
Yes, rain! Can you imagine complaining about rain? Who do you blame for that?
God? No thanks!
All of us, at one time
or another, find things to complain about. There are many reasons why we end up
complaining. Sometimes it’s a lack of patience. Other times it comes from
pride. As I began to dive into the start of this book it occurred to me that not
only do I complain, but I am surrounded by people who whine or complain or
criticize or ridicule every day. The short-tempered auto mechanic. The waitress
who’s “had it up to here” with customers. The pizza delivery kid, who is never
happy with the tip no matter how much you give him. The world seems to be in a
constant state of something I call “clangy-ness.” Not crankiness,
which certainly is also an issue. But I’m referring here to a challenging
comment made in The Bible.
In the book of First Corinthians, the author, Paul, speaks
about the importance of love. In fact, many marriage ceremonies, even those
that are not particularly “religious,” offer the familiar “Love is…” passage found
in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. “Love is patient, love is kind…” and so forth.
The previous chapter, First
Corinthians 12, offers a long list of what the Christian faith calls spiritual
gifts. The passage makes it clear that God gives to each of us certain and
specific “spiritual gifts” to be used to encourage and edify others. That list
includes things like faith, wisdom, discerning of spirits, others, and, of
course, the gift of speaking in tongues as well as the gift of interpretation
of that tongue. (This is not a book about “tongues.” That can be a dangerous
and divisive conversation, and many amazing books have already been written on
that topic. I only mention “tongues” because it directly leads us into the 13th
chapter of that book.)
Paul speaks about the power, impact and edification of these
gifts as a way of teaching us how important and valuable they are. But in the
very first verse of Chapter 13, Paul says something profound that I’ve taken to
heart over the past several years. He says, “If I speak in the tongues of men
and angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging
cymbal.” Ouch. In other words, you can be given all these various, powerful
gifts with which you can edify each other and that is amazing! However, if you
do not have love, you are nothing more than a loud gong or clanging cymbal.
And there it is. Lacking love can lead to complaining.
I always found it easy to find a lack of love in others. I
mean, that’s a basic tendency we all have, right? To see the spec in someone
else’s eye while ignoring the log in our own. (Matthew 7:5). But as I have
gotten older I have realized the log in my own eyes has been the culprit of my
negative vision far too often and it was time to seek an end to that
destructive deficiency.
My side hustles have always been in the arts as an actor,
writer, comedian, songwriter and performer. But for over 30 years my primary
career was in Christian ministry serving as a music and worship director in Christian
churches. In each of those areas I have experienced and/or participated in
various types of “clangy-ness.” On sets with actors and directors. With music
publishers and producers. With comedians and comedy club owners. With performers
and managers of performing venues. And, yes, even in Christian ministry. Sadly,
“Clangers” seem to be everywhere.
If you are familiar with the gospel accounts of Jesus Christ,
he was also surrounded by “clangers.” He was mocked, ridiculed, disbelieved,
called all sorts of names, hated and eventually killed. It boggles my mind that
the fact Jesus healed and restored people was somehow misunderstood especially
by the religious leaders of His day.
A few years ago, I began taking to heart my tendency to
“clang” and begin a self-discovery hoping to get to the heart of the matter.
Mainly for myself, due to the wake of angst and pain my “clangy-ness” has left
behind. And, as I’m prone to do, I wanted to see if a wider net might be cast
that could encourage others to consider their own tendencies to “clang.”
This book is the result of my self-discovery. There will be
personal stories of failure and success that I hope encourage you in your
journey. Full disclosure: I am still in the process. Friends and family who
read this book might feel led to point out where I’m not practicing what I
preach. That’s okay. I “clang.” They “clang.” We all “clang.” This book is like
a wake-up call for all of us. But I’m convinced that provided we aim for love,
perhaps the noise of the gongs and cymbals will grow more faint.
ALL CONTENT (C) 2025 DAN McGOWAN
